Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
