Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
