There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
