Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
