is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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