oh god the rape fog is back!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
