im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
