If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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