dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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