My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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