My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
