You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
