I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
