Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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