Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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