Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
