Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
