Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
