eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
