you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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