i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
