why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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