Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
