But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
