Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
