I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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