At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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