In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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