My friends, they love my intelligence
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
