Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
