My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
