sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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