and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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