Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize