We named our party play list daddy issues
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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