i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
