I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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