Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
