He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
