I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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