So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
