Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
