i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
