Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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