Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
