i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship