with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
