I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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