i don't like sucking hair
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
