you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
