They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
