I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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