Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
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81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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