Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
