I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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