whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
