he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
