We named our party play list daddy issues
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
