I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
