Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
