dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize