If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
