If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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