If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
