You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i was born a porn star she said
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
