Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
