Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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