If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
