If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
