Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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